Hello again. We're currently in Siem Reap, having done 2 days of temples around Angkor, and having a bit of a break before our 3rd and final day, so I thought I would pen a missive.

I could recap what we have done in Cambodia so far, but that seemed a bit obvious, so instead I thought I would summarise the results of my extensive survey of South East Asian beer and attempt to draw some illuminating conclusions.

Here is the rough ranking I have achieved:

1) Singha Beer- Thailand's number 1 (despite the claims of that ingenue, Beer Chang). Simple, crisp, clean finish. Also has a pleasing white can design, and (most crucially) an excellent old-fashioned "pull-off" ring pull. It's the little touches that count in such a crowded marketplace. Class.

2) Beer Lao- As the name suggests, the national beer of Laos. But in many ways it is much more than that too, as it has invaded the national psyche to a degree that other brands could only dream of. It sponsors EVERYTHING in Laos, from the recent South East Asian Games (what? You didn't catch them on the telly?) to the signs for pretty much every hotel, guesthouse and restaurant. It is actually a pretty good beer, but what really pushes it up the rankings is the sheer grinding force of the ubiquity it is able to muster. Relentless.

3) Angkor Beer- No 1 beer of Cambodia. Aspires to the same kind of ubiquity that Beer Lao enjoys in its native land, but has to exist in a more crowded marketplace. Like most of the beers on this list, it is delicious if served at something approaching absolute zero at the end of a hot day, but if it is not cold enough (which it frequently isn't) then it has the unfortunate capacity to taste like the sweat from a Khmer's undergarments strained through a rusty metal gauze. Which is not nice. Passable.

4) Beer Chang- Thailand's no 2 beer. An adequate brew, but it suffers from association with all the idiot travellers who wander around in their Beer Chang vest tops. It also produces roughly the same sort of hangovers one would assume only came from drinking potato gin brewed inside an unwashed tar barrel. Punishing.

5) Klang- Hands down the winner on the name front, this cheeky Cambodian tipple weighs in at a punchy 6.8% ABV. Not available all that widely, it's rarity gives it an added air of mystery (at least in my eyes) that it probably doesn't deserve. Feisty.

6) Tiger- Well known, and beloved of British Indian restaurants, Malaysian Tiger has somehow attained the status of a luxury beverage in SE Asia, and usually cost significantly more than other beers. Which is mystifying, as it is watery, flavourless rubbish. Overrated.

7) Anchor- Taking advantage of the potential for confusion produced by homophones, wherever there is Angkor, there is also Anchor. Sadly, the makers of this barely adequate urinary effluent didn't seem to put the effort into learning about brewing that they did into flouting copyright laws (if Cambodia actually had copyright laws, that is). It's one saving grace is that it isn't Crown (see below). Desperate.

8) Crown (sometimes A.K.A Bayon Beer)- Oh dear Christ. Sweet Mary, mother of God. I actually put 330 ml of this into my body. That's it- I don't want to talk about it anymore. Vile.


I would like also to acknowledge some of the brews that I haven't managed to sample: Master Beer, Black Panther Stout and Phnom Penh Beer. However, I feel qualified to draw at least some firm conclusions. The main one is that whilst many South East Asian beers will do a job at the end of a hot day cycling round temples, I'm entirely certain that if I ever picked up a bottle of Beer Lao back at home I would think it barely better than Carling (and that's pretty bad).

All in all, I would quite literally commit murder (just a small one, though) for a pint of real ale or scrumpy.